Design credit to Estefania Loret de Mola @stefyloret
Having always been troublesome as a young girl, I decided the only way out of the loop was working. Once I started working in a customer service setting, something switched inside of me. Due to first hand experiences and conversations with many (and I mean many) different types of personalities/attitudes, I understood that feelings and opinions of others must be taken into consideration in order to have a good relationship with them. This experience made me realize it was a matter of choice how you presented yourself; it’s a mentality you choose to have.
This mentality I’m talking about is described as mindfulness by author Chade-Meng Tang. Not only is mindfulness is a mentality, it is how you look at the world, how you fit into the world, how you make a difference, how you being right here and now, in this place and time is altering the world and how you are playing your part. Mindfulness is about being in the now, and being in the now is a way to enjoy happiness. It’s been said that if you are sad, you are living in the past, and if you are worried you are living in the future. I can conclude that if you are mindful, you are living in the now.
One of the most important terms within mindfulness is the state of being emotionally intelligent. Tang describes mindfulness as being “a quality of mind that . . . leads directly to the attentional calmness and clarity that forms the basis of emotional intelligence.” When we begin to be mindful, we begin to learn every day what is right for us not just mentally or physically, but emotionally. This is how you are feeling, and this how you take about your day. Emotions play a big part in oneself and can cause stress on the body whether we are aware of it or not. When we engage in mindful behavior we can learn how to control them and not be controlled by them because after all, saying you are mindful is different from being mindful.
An important theme for practice in mindfulness (and in this part of my syllabus) is breathing. It’s stunning how something we do unconsciously plays such a big part in how we go about our day. There are two main reasons why breathing is important:
(1) momentum and (2) intention. When practicing mindfulness, it is important to stay present and set intentions on your breathes. Even if it’s in the midst of a bad moment, even one breath can make a difference if you are taking that breath with intention. By doing so, intentionally you create a space for you to be mindful.
Having the good intention towards yourself will transition into having good intention in general, for everyone and everything because “when self-directed kindness is strong, mindfulness becomes easier.” Creating a space for you gives space for directing positive intentions towards the world and even more so towards yourself. When enabling oneself to have a good attitude towards the world, eventually you develop an instinct for kindness. An easy way to practice mindfulness in mundane time is by wishing everybody you meet to be happy in their journey in life (out-loud or within you); although the likelihood of things is to never see each other again.
Regardless of the attitude or personality, the openness to learn and co-create this temporary connection enables us to wish happiness throughout different journeys. Ultimately, it’s those intentions that bring small amounts of joy and “if you create that same intention a lot, it eventually becomes a habit that will keep arising in your mind in varied situations to guide your behavior.” Being mindful will enable you to learn without judging, to grow your identity without conflict, and lean towards a more positive attitude by taking life one breath at a time.
Further Readings:
Chade-Meng Tang ‘s Search Inside Yourself.
Bessel van der Kolk M.D.’s The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma