The year of 2022 was a promising year. Having been born on a twenty-second day, the number twenty-two has always held a higher significance than others. Naturally, I thought this year was the magical year, the one where I’d see all the seeds I planted vastly blooming. It held a promise of love, luck, fantasy and fulfillment of overdue longings. Instead, the year presented itself to me with everything in between disillusion, anger, and heartbreak. Everything I harvested had bloomed but rapidly died. Asking myself over and over again how could all the energy I had invested into what I was working towards vanish?
This indeed was truly a promising year, I think in hindsight, it did inevitably hold a promise, except it was different than what I had foreseen. It was the promise of self discovery with hidden opportunities to heal, invest, assess and most importantly to love. Even when these opportunities masked themselves in many dark nights of the soul, I am now able to reflect, to be thankful for my ability to grow, mature emotionally and recognize the distance from where I was to where I stand now. Being here in the aftermath, there are still slivers of dark moments of where I keep telling myself:
“What if I wasn’t a villain? What if I was the hero of my life? What if I knew what a lesson was and learned it?”
There is always something to learn and to heal, we all have days where our wounds are more deeply touched than others. It took me almost the whole year to realize that the best version of me didn’t include factors I once thought benefited me. It was of the utter most difficulty for me to understand why I couldn’t have what I wanted if I felt so deeply about it. Why were my feelings this deep and feel so real yet I am not able to outlive them?I had to sit myself down and come to terms that these emotions had to die within me and I had to stop being that version I was. I had to fully commit to letting myself go and trusting that I would bounce back bigger and better than before.
It takes time to be the best you and that’s cool too. It is important to note that a fresh start isn’t always a new place, it’s a new mindset. Giving yourself the freedom to roam new places in your mind, to explore other areas of you that you’ve forgotten or are barely getting to know. Constantly seeking to deepen my self-awareness, I realize that the observant person finds many teachers. As a constantly changing figure, I am in a never-ending search for knowledge that extends a helping hand for me to step into the newest version of myself. Seeking inner wisdom I kept writing to find out something I didn’t know. Here are some of those lessons I learned from 2022:
Trust is created in the smallest of moments.
You can’t have one foot in your old life and one foot in your new life and expect change. You have to fully commit to the new life.
Yesterday’s price is not today’s price. Be intentional in how you spend your time.
Be in tune with your constant and daily evolution. Self asses and be aware.
Life doesn’t give you want you want, it gives you what you need.
Rejection is redirection. While one door closes, doors with infinite possibilities will open.
The people you spend most time with shape who you are and influence which attitudes and behaviors you are regularly exposed.
The dream in your heart may be bigger than the environment in which you find yourself. Sometimes you have to get out of that environment to see that dream fulfilled.
It’s OK to disconnect. Saying no allows you to take on less and achieve more.
Whenever you are set out to achieve something, it’s best invest a lot in the tools that you’re going to be using.
Don’t be afraid of pursuing a career that is meaningful to you.
A great team makes all the difference. Know who is and who isn’t on your team.
Compromise is key.
Responsibility is a choice. You’d be surprised what IS in the realm of your control.
We can endure almost anything. Make sure to know your worth and what’s worth enduring.
Kindness is not controversial.
Don’t leave things unsaid but don’t repeat yourself.
Time is your gift. Do not give your gift away easily.
A couple of pixels teach you nothing, lots of pixels make a picture. It takes time to get enough pixels to see the real picture.
“Life is so short you can’t waste even a day subscribing to what someone thinks you can do versus knowing what you can do” — Virgil Abloh
“Good choices create opportunities. Good habits make the most of them” —
James ClearReflecting over one thing that made you happy during the day every day goes a long way.
This year I am thankful to be able to recognize versions of myself and be able to wave goodbye to them. Mostly with tears in my eyes because I might not ever be them again but with a smile on my face because they are part of me and I will always love them. I thank them for helping me become who I am today. Not giving up but learning to walk away when the door you knock doesn’t open. Giving it space and time, thinking deeply about why it is you want to open certain doors, and if so crafting the intentions behind the opening. Thinking of choices as portals and not where the end meets. Delaying pleasure over instant gratification. I let myself be happier by saying no in order to say yes. I have been swimming back to myself, meeting me at the shore. I have been learning to love the light by seeing what darkness does. I’m meeting myself with deep truths.
Keeping in mind that goal is always to get closer to your true self, I am grateful for the lessons and opportunities to keep growing and become the best me. I leave 2022 with a brighter idea of what I want and with a very clear idea of what I do not. Holding a profound feeling that I will keep getting lucky by doing the right thing at the right time, I’m ensuring readiness for when new opportunities knock my door. I’m inviting surprise as a constant companion for 2023 and I have never felt this excited for the unknown! It is said that when you open up your heart, you find deeper love. I cannot wait to see who I‘ll love next but most importantly how much love is going to growing within myself.
Looking to unwrap 2022 before wrapping it up?
Here’s a great reading recommendation that details how to start looking back on this last year. My dear friend Victoria invites us to a self-reflection via a guided questionnaire to honor the passing time in her newsletter titled Unwrapping 2022.
A quote I love and words from Maya Angelou to illuminate the path towards living in truth.
Most people don’t grow up. It’s too damn difficult. What happens is most people get older. That’s the truth of it. They honor their credit cards, they find parking spaces, they marry, they have the nerve to have children, but they don’t grow up. Not really. They get older. But to grow up costs the earth, the earth. It means you take responsibility for the time you take up, for the space you occupy. It’s serious business. And you find out what it costs us to love and to lose, to dare and to fail. And maybe even more, to succeed. What it costs, in truth. Not superficial costs—anybody can have that—I mean in truth.
Lastly, test your perspective with the image below.
It is in how we see things, isn’t it?
Further Readings and Lectures
A book that got me through the hard times as the illusions shattered:
Tonight I’m Someone Else by Chelsea Hodson
A book that shed light on wounds too deep to see with the naked eye:
It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn
A book that helped and guided the structure of the newest version of myself:
Atomic Habits by James Clear
A lecture that helps me dream outside of what I can physically see:
Core Studio Public Lecture: Virgil Abloh, “Insert Complicated Title Here”
P.S. The secret is being yourself… Ooohh I just gave it away to ‘em 🤍